If you like Open Grave, you'll kill to get......
CADAVER!
Available at CVS, Phar-Mor, or your local convenience store...
I had a very appropriate picture, but blogger is being a pain in the ass and wont let me upload - bastards!
Oh yeah, speaking of cadavers....I guess up and coming fashion model Heather Bratton was killed in a fiery car crash last week. Fashion industry gurus were hailing Bratton as the new Kate Moss, with their many similarities.
And for the "Insensitive yet Hilarious Comment of the Day".....
Several helpless bystanders witnessed Bratton being burned alive as she was trapped in the Crown Victoria she was riding in. One person quipped "Wow, I bet thats the most emotion she has shown in 19 years"
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Parfum de Cours
The following is a morbidly amusing new cologne/perfume commercial conjured up by three beer-buzzed people who clamor to the pinnalce of inappropriateness. Anyway it goes a little something like this....
When you need a scent so powerful, Open Graaaave (loudly whispered).
When you absolutely must be noticed, Open Graaaave (loudly whispered)
When you want people to look, but not touch, you can always turn to, Open Graaaaaaaaave (loudly whispered)
Open Grave, the new scent from Calvin Klein is available only for a limited time at fine stores near you.
Open Graaaaaaaaaaaaave (loudly whispered)
(Enter beautiful model with thick Russian accent) "Are you in? Or are you out?"
Open Graaave
**Credit to Bob and Trouble for assisting in the genesis of this exquisitely morbid idea.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Solutions
1 - Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
2 - Running With The Devil - Van Halen
3 - Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers (in hindsight, I realize this was a pretty mediocre clue on my part)
4 - Gods of War - Def Leppard
5 - Sweet Child O Mine - Guns N Roses
6 - I Still Havent Found What Im Looking For - U2
7 - Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
8 - Ice, Ice, Baby - Vanilla Ice
9 - Shattered Dreams - Johnny Hates Jazz
10 - If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
11 - Sex Type Thing - Stone Temple Pilots
12 - I Touch Myself - The Divinyls
13 - Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
14 - Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
15 - The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
16 - Losing My Religion - R.E.M.
17 - What's My Name - Snoop Dogg (I realized this could apply to several song titles)
18 - You Gotta Fight (For Your Right to Party) - Beastie Boys
19 - Bulls On Parade - Rage Against the Machine
20 - Dont Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty
14 -
2 - Running With The Devil - Van Halen
3 - Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers (in hindsight, I realize this was a pretty mediocre clue on my part)
4 - Gods of War - Def Leppard
5 - Sweet Child O Mine - Guns N Roses
6 - I Still Havent Found What Im Looking For - U2
7 - Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
8 - Ice, Ice, Baby - Vanilla Ice
9 - Shattered Dreams - Johnny Hates Jazz
10 - If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
11 - Sex Type Thing - Stone Temple Pilots
12 - I Touch Myself - The Divinyls
13 - Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
14 - Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
15 - The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
16 - Losing My Religion - R.E.M.
17 - What's My Name - Snoop Dogg (I realized this could apply to several song titles)
18 - You Gotta Fight (For Your Right to Party) - Beastie Boys
19 - Bulls On Parade - Rage Against the Machine
20 - Dont Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty
14 -
Saturday, July 15, 2006
My music trivia - Enjoy
1 - Thank you for joining us in the rainforest
2 - Excessively snotty nose joins Satan
3 - Released higher part of a song
4 - Thor, Buddha, Apollo, Zeus, and Allah of declared conflict
5 - Sugary son or daughter that I possess
6 - I continuously am unable to dicover that which I seek
7 - Blood pumping organ shaped cube
8 - Slang term for methamphetamines repeated newborn child
9 - smashed into a thousand pieces sleeping visions that you sometimes remember and usually wish could come true
10 - If only when I spin the clock counter-clockwise something would happen
11 - Carnal knowledge sort of indeterminable entity
12 - I put my finger on my nose. Now I put my finger on my shoulder. Now I put my finger on my knee. Now I put my finger on my chin.
13 - Once again someone chews on the formerly airborn dirt that has now settled on everything
14 - 100% off sale of aves (but you only get 1)
15 - The very attractive group of homo sapiens
16 - Not winning personally possessed Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, or Hinduism
17 - Am I Ted or Martha, or Andrew, or Katie, or John? Please tell me...
18 - Sometimes you have to come to blows to protect your freedom to have a great time with others
19 - Male cows lined up and then proceeding down Main St, then left on Elm, right on 3rd and so on while everyone watches.
20 - You better not come traveling to where I am ever again
Good Luck!!!!
2 - Excessively snotty nose joins Satan
3 - Released higher part of a song
4 - Thor, Buddha, Apollo, Zeus, and Allah of declared conflict
5 - Sugary son or daughter that I possess
6 - I continuously am unable to dicover that which I seek
7 - Blood pumping organ shaped cube
8 - Slang term for methamphetamines repeated newborn child
9 - smashed into a thousand pieces sleeping visions that you sometimes remember and usually wish could come true
10 - If only when I spin the clock counter-clockwise something would happen
11 - Carnal knowledge sort of indeterminable entity
12 - I put my finger on my nose. Now I put my finger on my shoulder. Now I put my finger on my knee. Now I put my finger on my chin.
13 - Once again someone chews on the formerly airborn dirt that has now settled on everything
14 - 100% off sale of aves (but you only get 1)
15 - The very attractive group of homo sapiens
16 - Not winning personally possessed Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, or Hinduism
17 - Am I Ted or Martha, or Andrew, or Katie, or John? Please tell me...
18 - Sometimes you have to come to blows to protect your freedom to have a great time with others
19 - Male cows lined up and then proceeding down Main St, then left on Elm, right on 3rd and so on while everyone watches.
20 - You better not come traveling to where I am ever again
Good Luck!!!!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Great Fucking Sammich...
Every once in awhile I get a wild hair across my ass and decide too cook. Yesterday I received a request to make my delectible Baja Chipotle Chicken Sandwich. For those who havent had it, NO I'm going to come cook for you!! Instead I will share my recipe with you so you may enjoy it on your own....
Ingredients
Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
Lawry's Baja Chipotle Marinade(find this near the BBQ sauce at you local grocer) (this is a sauce similar to BBQ in texture and color, but infused with roasted chipotle jalapeno and lime juice)
Pepperjack Cheese
Leaf lettuce (not Iceberg lettuce, use Leaf Lettuce, Iceberg is shit)
Dill Pickle slices
Bacon cooked (or not if bacon is not in your diet)
Ranch dressing (or mayo for those that can choke it down)
Tomato if you like tomato, but it is unnecessary and will make your sammich too tall to eat
Kaiser Rolls (not some shitty $1 bag of generic hamburger buns, shell out the extra 2 dollars and get some good kaiser rolls ya cheap bastard)
Steps
Pretty basic, marinate the chicken in 1 cup or so of the Baja Chipotle marinade. For an added kick, mix some cayenne pepper and about 2 teaspoons of hot wing sauce to the marinade. Marinade for rougly 45 minutes to an hour. (to really get the flavor in the chicken, use a toothpick and poke about 8 holes in each breast before adding the marinade sauce)
After marinating the chicken, fire up your BBQ grill and cook the chicken. Baste the chicken while it is grilling a couple times (use what is in the bottle to baste, DO NOT USE LEFTOVER SAUCE THE RAW CHICKEN WAS SITTING IN) Add a couple slices of the pepperjack cheese to the chicken right before its done. Butter and grill the kaiser rolls.
Stack grilled chicken and cheese, bacon, lettuce, pickle slices, and a little ranch dressing on the lightly grilled kaiser rolls.
The combination of textures, spice heat from the sauce and the cheese, and cooling effect of the lettuce/pickles/ranch (mayo) give off an explosion of taste sensations in your mouth. Now you are ready..... As Akinyele would sing...."Just put it in your mouth"....
Enjoy
Ingredients
Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
Lawry's Baja Chipotle Marinade(find this near the BBQ sauce at you local grocer) (this is a sauce similar to BBQ in texture and color, but infused with roasted chipotle jalapeno and lime juice)
Pepperjack Cheese
Leaf lettuce (not Iceberg lettuce, use Leaf Lettuce, Iceberg is shit)
Dill Pickle slices
Bacon cooked (or not if bacon is not in your diet)
Ranch dressing (or mayo for those that can choke it down)
Tomato if you like tomato, but it is unnecessary and will make your sammich too tall to eat
Kaiser Rolls (not some shitty $1 bag of generic hamburger buns, shell out the extra 2 dollars and get some good kaiser rolls ya cheap bastard)
Steps
Pretty basic, marinate the chicken in 1 cup or so of the Baja Chipotle marinade. For an added kick, mix some cayenne pepper and about 2 teaspoons of hot wing sauce to the marinade. Marinade for rougly 45 minutes to an hour. (to really get the flavor in the chicken, use a toothpick and poke about 8 holes in each breast before adding the marinade sauce)
After marinating the chicken, fire up your BBQ grill and cook the chicken. Baste the chicken while it is grilling a couple times (use what is in the bottle to baste, DO NOT USE LEFTOVER SAUCE THE RAW CHICKEN WAS SITTING IN) Add a couple slices of the pepperjack cheese to the chicken right before its done. Butter and grill the kaiser rolls.
Stack grilled chicken and cheese, bacon, lettuce, pickle slices, and a little ranch dressing on the lightly grilled kaiser rolls.
The combination of textures, spice heat from the sauce and the cheese, and cooling effect of the lettuce/pickles/ranch (mayo) give off an explosion of taste sensations in your mouth. Now you are ready..... As Akinyele would sing...."Just put it in your mouth"....
Enjoy
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